Sabrina Parsons

Last month I wrote a post on my blog, all about research that showed girls who graduated from all girls’ schools had an edge over their counterparts who went to co-ed high schools.  My post was well received, and got some good comments. It also is what linked me up with Sally, and the National Coalition Of Girls’ Schools and is the reason I get the honor and privilege of guest posting on this blog. What I find interesting in comments made on my blog, and a few comments already posted on this blog, are the mothers with young daughters who have commented, wondering whether sending their daughters to all girls’ schools is something they should consider — even if they themselves did not attend an all girls’ school.

I thought I would try and address these comments and shed some light. One of the mothers who commented on Sally’s post on this blog said:

Sally, this is so cool! I enjoyed the first two posts…maybe you will inspire me to send one of my girls to an all-girls school! (something I’m theoretically interested in, not sure I can convince them to consider it…we are doing all-girls camp in the summer, which is fabulous). It was actually the experience of having my daughter (then age 11) at an all-girls camp for a month that made me start thinking more about the idea of an all-girls school. There is something incredibly powerful for girls in seeing all the roles in a community filled by girls and women…

A commenter on my blog said this:

Thanks for an informative post! I grew up in co-ed schools, so it’s interesting to know what life was like in a single-sex school. And even though my daughter is just a baby now, your post gave me something to consider as I think about her educational future. I’d love for her to grow up in the kind of intellectually stimulating and supportive environment that you describe.

I love that these mothers are thinking about educating their daughters not just as growing people, but growing women.  I strongly believe that even today in 2009, we still face a fairly distinct gender divide.  Nationally girls still do worse in science and math than their male counterparts, and unfortunately  there are still fewer women going into scientific fields, than men. There are people in very prominent positions still espousing the ridiculous myths that women don’t do well in math and science because they lack an innate ability. In 2005, Larry Summers, then the President of Harvard University, stated that women simply lack aptitude in these area, and don’t have the same innate ability as men. He also thought it would be worth mentioning “that women remain underrepresented in the upper echelons of academic and professional life—in part, he said, because many women with young children are unwilling or unable to put in the 80-hour work-weeks needed to succeed in those fields.“  If your jaw hasn’t dropped it should have. This is a man that is supposed to be leading one of the finest academic institutions in the world, and here he is in 2005, telling women and girls that they lack innate ability.

Why do I bring this up? Because although I was shocked, angered, and upset by Summers’ comments, these types of attitudes are still pervasive in our society. This is the reality of the world we live in.  On a regular basis I will deal with men in business, that still question why I am CEO, and how a girl could possibly lead a technology company. A few years ago I was featured in an article in USA Today, entitled “Mommy Wars” that focused on the different choices made by mothers, and why some chose to work and some chose to stay at home. The article ran both online, and in the actual paper copy. This is one of the comments that was made about me, in the online edition:

How can you be a CEO and a Mom at the same time? My experience with mothers, especially new ones, is that they never stop talking about their kids. So one can conclude that a “Mommy CEO” sits around at work and talks about kids all day. Also women are inherently emotional and good businesses are not run on emotions, bad ones are. Personally I’m not going to listen to a CEO or respect one that is nursing a child. Women belong in the home, not playing CEO. Its not play time this is the real world, stop making business decisions and start making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for your kids. Come on.

I certainly do not include these comments or reference people I don’t respect, like Larry Summers, just to be sensational. But I do want to get your attention. I do want to put the reality right in your face : as much as we want to believe that “We’ve come a long way, baby”, we still have so much further to go.  And I don’t want to give the impression that I run around griping about the inequities women face. I don’t.  I am very happy with my life, very confident in my career, and truly believe that there is nothing I can’t do, if I want to, and I put hard work and effort behind it.  And when I run into not so smart people, who believe that women belong only in the home, or aren’t naturally good at math or science, I just point them to all the women I know, who are Doctors and PhD candidates, and engineers, and software developers, and CEOs and Presidents, and entrepreneurs, and the list goes on and on. And I can tell you today with certainty, that my confidence was born at Castilleja School, an all girls’ college prep school.  So all you mothers and fathers out there raising smart, inquisitive, knowledge-thirsty girls, think about the benefits an all girls school can have. Yes, it may be expensive. Yes, it may be hard to convince your 13 year old to go to the all girls’ school. But it is a gift you will give your daughters, that will carry them with confidence, for the rest of their lives.

-Sabrina Parsons, CEO of Palo Alto Software, and MommyCEO